Just Imagine
by Questionable Answers
Summary: "Long time, Huh?" All the imagined scenarios, how was it that the truth was the most tragic. But maybe true love isn't just for stories, maybe it just needs a little help. *Idea borrowed from s2lou's Encounter, with permission*
1. The Introduction

If you have read any of my other stories, you might have noticed I don't usually preamble. This time though I must disclaim. As much as I wish it was, this story was not my Idea. It is largely based off of "Encounter" by s2lou, with permission of course. Super thanks for letting me do this!

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><p>"What do you want, kid?" Shinichi's cool voice cut through the crowd of people. Supermarkets were definitely not on the world famous detectives list of favorite places. If it weren't for the simple and unavoidable fact that even private eyes need to eat something more substantial than coffee, he wouldn't even be near one. As it was, he was not happy about being stuck in a big room full of flashy advertisements, mysterious smells and people jockeying for a good deal. He could have just stayed in his quite home with a pot of coffee and a good book. Not that he would have been any happier that way, just less irritated.<p>

"I'm not a kid. I'm twelve and old enough to take care of myself." The boy was nervous, that much was clear. Shinichi could tell by the way the kid puffed out his chest a little and spoke a shade louder than necessary. He was trying to appear confident, and was doing a half decent job of it. He probably even fooled himself. Shinichi wasn't one to disillusion children, so he let the bluff slide.

"A kid is a kid. What do you want?" He was probably a fan, maybe even an aspiring detective. Shinichi had a reputation for being patient with anyone who liked detectiving as much as he did - no matter his age or background – but he had been wandering through countless isle enough to wear the patience of a saint. Fan or not, the kid had better get to the point.

The kid shifted, settling into a decision. "You're the detective, you tell me?" Shinichi sighed. He was tired of people saying 'prove it'; showing off his observation and deduction skills wasn't as fun as it used to be. He was a little curious though, because this supposed fan sounded down right antagonistic. What was he up to?

"If you didn't want something, than you wouldn't be following me. And before you claim you weren't following me, I've been here for more that twenty minutes and every time I turn around I catch a glimpse of you ducking behind someone or something. Clearly, you were following me.

"You are carrying a basket with a few common items, table salt and toilet paper, as well as meat and vegetables that are probably for dinner, so you were sent shopping by your parents. This probably happens often, as you seem rather mature. You speak Japanese well but with an accent. You were raised in America by Japanese parents to be helpful as well as independent, and you are quick to defend your capabilities to concerned adults. I'd guess you're not even twelve, that's just something you say to reassure people. You happened to see me here while running an errand and decided to follow me.

"You're probably not in the habit of following random strangers – that can get you into trouble no matter where you live - so you think that I'm someone worth following. You know who I am so you know that I'm a rather successful detective. You're following me either because you're a fan, or because you need a detectives help. So you tell me what you want, or go away?" Shinichi wasn't trying to be mean to the kid, he just didn't like to be followed and would prefer if the kid just left him alone. On the other hand, Shinichi was in the habit of taking children seriously, which gave him even more of an advantage over the standard cop or detective. If the kid actually needed Shinichi's help than Shinichi would help, but if this was about a lost cat or some kind of hero worship the kid was out of luck.

Rather than being cowed, or impressed, or both, the kid looked up at him defiantly. He took a deep breath. "I'm a huge fan of yours, but who wouldn't be? You're smart and successful and people like you. Your agency has only been open for six years and police forces all over the world have your number on speed dial. You speak at least five different languages and have traveled the globe. You're a terrific marksman, a great driver, a good actor, a passable violinist, and you could have been a professional soccer player. You were making a name for yourself as a detective even before you graduated high school. You're amazing." The kid paused for breath and Shinichi blinked. This kid had done his homework. Shinichi was impressed and (he was ashamed to admit) a little suspicious. Who was this kid who knew so much about him?

"What I want," he continued, "is to know for sure if you're worth caring about or if you're just a waste of time. Just because you're a good detective doesn't mean you're a good person." Their eyes met and Shinichi felt caught, by curiosity and suspicion, but also by emotion. There was a glimmer of real pleasure tickling under his ribcage. He didn't often feel happy, but the kid's attitude was refreshing change from his typical falling over themselves fans. He laughed out loud, the sound strange in his own ears.

"I like you. What's your name kid?" the kid held his gaze.

"Shino." He said at last.

"Just Shino?" The kid shrugged and Shinichi shrugged in reply. Using just a given name was a little unusual, but perfectly understandable for an American raised kid. Moments passed as Shinichi took some time to study him. His messy black hair flopped over remarkably clear eyes and stuck out in odd places. If he was acquainted with a comb or anything like one, then they clearly weren't on speaking terms. His posture suggested bold curiosity with just a little bit of shyness and his face looked exceptionally intelligent. He looked almost familiar, but Shinichi was sure he had never seen the kid before. They stood there. Shinichi could feel the mood turning awkward, but neither of them broke eye contact

*Ahem* An annoyed looking obaachan tapped her foot impatiently and huffed in displeasure. Both Shinichi and the boy snapped back to reality, in which they were currently blocking the backing goods isle.

"Uh, sorry mam." Shinichi said as he slid out of the way. The kid was looking somewhat embarrassed as he also muttered an apology. Shinichi made up his mind and turned to face him. He needed to learn more about this puzzling kid. "Do you have everything you need?"

"Huh?"

Shinichi gestured to the basket he carried. "For dinner," he clarified. Shino blinked, then looked down to take stock.

"Yeah, I think that's all." He was still trying to cope with the sudden change in topic.

"Then lets go for a walk."

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><p>Shino thought the man was lonely. He had recognized the nearly mythical Kudo Shinichi almost immediately and couldn't believe it. After hearing so much about him, Shino was finally able to see him in person. He had expected the man to be aloof and intimidating and he had hoped he would be everything he had heard and more. The very first thing Shino thought about the man was that he was very lonely and tired of being that way.<p>

Following him was the only thing to do. Shino couldn't let the opportunity to learn more about the man slip away, and he certainly couldn't _talk_ to him. Shino considered himself brave, but there was a limit to everything. Kudo Shinichi wasn't just another person, he was _the_ Kudo Shinichi. As much as Shino wanted to know more about him, he wasn't sure he was ready to find out. He almost gave up, but the thought of walking away and maybe never seeing this man again was more frightening than staying.

Then the man turned and confronted him. Shino nearly dropped his basket and ran, but that fear of never knowing steadied his heart. Shino didn't know what to do. How should he respond? What should he say? What _could_ he say? His mouth, tired of waiting for his brain to make a decision, started working on its own. He didn't remember exactly what he said; it was an automatic response, a reflex where his mind had failed.

What do you want, Shinichi had asked. That was a good question. What did Shino want? What did he think he could accomplish? Shino was at a loss. He tried to convince himself that he didn't want or expect anything from this man. He tried to remember that Kudo Shinichi was after all just another person. Then he remembered countless sad smiles and unshed tears and answered: I want to know if you're worth caring about. He needed to know if all those years of watching and waiting had been a complete waste.

And then the man laughed. It had startled Shino, because the man had seemed so sad before. The laugh though was genuine, and Shino caught a glimpse of who Kudo Shinichi might really be under all the expectations. Suddenly he didn't seem so imposing. Shino's apprehension faded slightly, replaced by curiosity. Lets go for a walk, the man said.

Shino's phone buzzed in his pocket. It was probably his mother wondering what was taking so long. That was one of the conditions placed on his freedom: regular updates. If he didn't pick up, she would be mad. She was scary when she was mad, but Shino couldn't talk to her right now. This was important. He was on a mission to find the truth and didn't have time to explain.

They left the store and walked for a bit, Shinichi thoughtfully slowing his pace so Shino didn't have to rush to keep up. Shino didn't comment, but he appreciated the gesture. He got the feeling this man knew how uncomfortable it was to trail behind. They sat down at a bench not far from the grocery store. There were people everywhere, coming and going without paying the two of them any mind. They were a comfort. Shino was sure Kudo Shinichi wasn't a bad person, but he didn't want to be alone with the man. He wasn't ready for that.

"So kid, how long have you been in Japan for?" Shinichi asked amiably. Shino didn't answer right away. He didn't know what to say. He was getting caught up, loosing sight of his goal. He didn't want to like this man until he was sure about him.

"Can't you tell?" Shinichi blinked. Shino didn't need this man to like him. He didn't need anything from Kudo Shinichi. He just wanted to learn more about him, that's all. Hostility was better than hope.

"I could figure it out, if I wanted." Shinichi waved a hand airily, "but I'd prefer if you'd tell me." His voice was full of patience it had lacked earlier. As if simply leaving the crowded environment had lifted his mood. "Conversation is better if both parties speak." Shinichi spoke with all the tones and layers adults used with each other but tended to omit when talking to children. It was another considerate gesture; he assumed – correctly – that Shino was well able to understand him. He spoke like he was actually interested, and not an indulgent sort of half-interest either. He seemed to care.

Shino was loosing the unbiased mind necessary for true investigation. He was starting to like this man. Shino was beginning to trust him, despite knowing that trust could cause pain. "Four days ago."

"Oh, not long then. Is this your first time in Japan?"

"Yeah. I wanted to see the place where mom grew up." Shino stared into space, gathering his courage "Have you ever been in love?"

"Wow. Loaded question." Shinichi stalled for time. "I suppose this is a test of my character. The answer is yes. Only once. A long time ago." Shino stared at him, trying to get as much information as possible. The man was lonely again, and sad. Shino had to ask. He had to know.

"What happened?"

Shinichi didn't answer right away. "Kid, you sure don't pull your punches." He fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable, but Shino didn't look away. He wanted to remember this for the rest of his life. "I guess you could say… I loved someone who was better off without me." Shinichi waited for the kid to move on and ask something else, but the silence stretched between them. The mood quickly became uncomfortable as they both waited for something to happen.

Shinichi caved first. "I fell in love with my best friend, but it was dangerous to be with her. I thought the best thing I could do for her was stay away. I wanted her to move on." He started slowly, staring into the distance. His voice had taken on a different quality, like a parent reading a bedtime story. "What if something happened to me and I couldn't come back to her? What if I couldn't keep myself away and she got hurt? Or worse? I couldn't have survived. I did what was best at the time and I can't doubt that. I kept her safe. I broke her heart." Shino felt he was sad, but determined. He sat quietly, waiting for the man to continue and knowing that the story wasn't over.

"I broke her heart." Shinichi repeated, talking more to himself now than the kid. The words came automatically. They had been alone in his thoughts for too long, and they wanted out. "She left. Once I made it clear, she picked up and left. I didn't look for her. It was the best thing for everyone that I didn't know where she was. With her out of the picture I was able to focus on getting rid of the danger. It took a long time but I chased down and caught every last shadow."

"So did you look for her?" Shino was getting into the story. His wide imagination could create all sorts of scenarios and motivations. He could create bad guys and heroes, damsels and fiends. He could twist a plot until nothing made sense, then add a detail that brought it all together. Shino loved stories. This one was good.

"I looked, and I almost found her." Shinichi was pulling out of story mode and back into himself. It felt good to be honest, but this was something he had decided not to think about. Shino sensed his retreat, but he wasn't having any of it. Even he knew a story wasn't a story until it was finished. Shinichi needed to finish this story. Shino needed to hear how it ended.

"Why almost? You could find anyone, if you wanted. Unless you didn't want to." He watched Shinichi's reaction. He looked almost guilty. "You didn't want to." It wasn't a question but a fact, and they both knew it. "Why?" He pressed, "You didn't love her?"

"That's… that's not it. I broke her heart, made her leave. She had probably moved on and forgotten about me. I couldn't come back into her life and hurt her again, but if I knew where she was, I couldn't have stayed away. At least if I don't know, I can imagine that she's happy. Maybe she has a family by now. She always wanted a family." He smiled, but not happily. Shino was hard pressed to identify the emotion, but it was love. Sad love.

He still loved her, Shino realized, that was why he was lonely. He loved her, but he didn't want to hurt her. That was why he stayed away. It was beautiful. It was romantic. It was a load of crap. Shino read enough stories to know people don't just move on after the big love. Little loves, sure, but the big love tended to leave a hole in your heart. Chances are they were both hurting, and why? Because it's better that way? Nuh-uh. Shino was not about to accept that. He had to fix this.

Just then Shino's phone started ringing again. The corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly. What perfect timing. He fished around in his pocket and pulled out the device. "Hello?" he answered in English. Although his mother had taught him to be fluent in Japanese, she preferred to speak in English. She felt she needed the practice. Not that she was bad at it; she just felt she could do better.

"_Where are you? Why didn't you answer your phone?_" Shino winced. Her tone was cold and quiet. She was angry.

"You worry too much." The old and familiar argument slipped past his lips. "I'm old enough to take care of myself."

"_No. You're not. Shino, I trust you, but your nine years old. I'm allowed to worry about you. Especially,_" she paused for effect and Shino winced again, "_when you don't answer your phone._"

"Relax, I'm all right. I was just chatting with someone and I didn't want to be rude."

"_I wish you would act your age. You are way too mature. Where'd my little Shin-chan go?_"

"Mom!" Shino glanced at the man, embarrassed. There was no way he could have heard, but Shino still didn't like being treated like a kid. "I told you not to call me that."

"_Haha. I know I'm sorry. I just can't help myself._" Well at least she wasn't mad anymore, Shino thought. "_So when will you be home? We're starving over here. I need my groceries._" Time to put his plan into action.

"Uh actually, I'm a little lost" A blush crept up his cheeks. Shino prided himself on his sense of direction; even _pretending_ he couldn't find his way was painful. "Could you come get me?" Shino ignored Shinichi's raised eyebrow.

"_Lost are you? So you need me around after all?_" She chuckled again.

"Mom." He whined, not wanting to prolong the embarrassment.

"_Fine Fine. Where are you?_" He gave the street number from the sign on the corner and finished the call. Shinichi looked at him.

"Your mother?" he asked. Shino nodded. "Your not lost." Shino shook his head. "So why? I'm having a hard time figuring you out."

"I want you to meet her." Shinichi's eyebrow crawled a little higher with the implied question. "She's an even bigger fan than I am."

"Ah," Shinichi nodded knowingly. A few pieces had fallen into place, including why the kid wanted to ascertain his true character. The kid didn't want Shinichi to disappoint his mother. Sweet. "So I passed your personality test?"

Shino nodded decisively. "I like you." He said it like it made all the difference. "So," he began. Shinichi took a deep breath, preparing for another difficult question. "Read any good books lately?"

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><p>AN:I'm really happy with this. It turned out better than I expected. So I'm starting another multi chapter fic without regard for my previous as unfinished creations. I really should prioritize, but ideas beat that part of by brain into submission. Hope you liked it. Hope I get around to finishing the next chapter. Hope everyone comes back for it when I do.

I'm really excited about this one.

Please please leave a review. I'm starved for attention.


	2. The Problem

She looked at her watch. She wasn't worried. What did she have to be worried about? Nothing, that's what. The small hands of time agreed with her. It was only 2:49. Nothing to worry about. He would call at three o'clock sharp, just like he'd promised. There were still eleven minutes left. Plenty of time. She looked at the clock on the wall. _Ten minuets_, she amended.

She took a deep breath and tried to focus. She trusted him, and she wanted to show it. The nine year old was really much too old for his age, but she had to learn to keep up with him. If she didn't keep up, some day she might be left behind.

_Nine minuets._ Only a minute had passed. If this kept up, she would be tempted to march straight down to the store and get him, responsibility be damned. She knew it was selfish to want him to be a child forever, but was there anything wrong with that? Why shouldn't she be a little selfish? Other people were selfish all the time.

_Don't look at the time, don't look at the time._ Seven minutes till two. No, she wasn't worried at all. What could happen to a nine year old boy all alone in a big, crowded place? Nothing, that's what. Car accident? Nope. Kidnapped? Nuh uh. Trampled? Highly unlikely. She whipped out her cell phone, dialing the familiar number without thinking.

She knew she was over reacting, but she knew if she didn't call she would just keep thinking about it. It was better to reassure herself now than to wait until she was frantic. Strong emotion of any kind - sadness, anger, happiness, and fear - tended to shut off the thinking part of her brain. There was no telling what she would do if she got worked up. Embarrassing her son was the least of her worries.

Empty ringing echoed between her ears as she waited, preparing to feel foolish when Shino started complaining. She waited and waited, becoming less worried and more annoyed as each ring was followed by another. By the time she heard the automated voice of her son inviting her to leave a message, she was down right mad. She tried really hard to give him the space he asked for. The least he could do was pick up the phone.

"Hi Shino, It's your mother. You remember, right? I'm the lady who ultimately controls your life. I was just calling to tell you again how much I trust you and how hurt I would be if you chose to break that trust. I might be forced to do something drastic, like … oh I don't know, sit on you until you're twelve for real. I'm sure you don't want that, so call me back." She clicked the phone shut with a satisfied smile on her lips. Shino was a smart boy. He'd definitely call soon. She needn't worry so much. She looked at the clock. It read 2:59

3:14.

3:27.

3:41.

3:50. She tapped her foot impatiently and once again waited for the ringing in her head to stop. Why wasn't he picking up? This had gone past the point of overprotective parenting. She was actually concerned for his safety. If he was in trouble… well she would take that trouble and tear it into a thousand tiny pieces. If he was_ not_ in trouble, then she'd tear _him_ to pieces.

"_Hello?"_ Thank goodness he was fine. She was going to kill him. She let her anger seep into her words, but she at least gave him a chance to explain himself. Cheeky kid came up with the one excuse she couldn't stay angry at. She _had_ taught him that polite people did not interrupt conversations to take phone calls.

That didn't mean he was off the hook. She'd be keeping him close for the next little while, and calling him Shin-chan every chance she got. He hated the nickname almost as much as… well he hated it. "So when will you be home? We're starving over here. I need my groceries." It was the truth too. Her father had just reminded her for the fifth time that he was dying of stomach pains.

"_Uh actually, I'm a little lost._" She could practically hear him blushing. He never got lost. But Tokyo was a lot different from the city he grew up in, even though it was home to her. She laughed gently, amused yet careful of his pride. She agreed to pick him up, glad to know that he wasn't as independent as he tried to seem.

"I'm taking the rental car," she called to the room. She had learned how to drive shortly after the move. She had been old enough, and it was nearly impossible to get anywhere in America without a vehicle. Maps simply couldn't convey how huge the place was. On top of the sheer size, everything was so spread out. It had taken a long time to get used to.

She hummed to herself the whole way, preferring her own thoughts to the unfocused noise of the radio. As hesitant as she had been when Shino had first brought up the idea, she really was glad to be back in Japan. She hadn't realized how much she missed these streets. She couldn't have guessed how much had changed. The buildings, the people, and most of all herself – everything was different now.

It still hurt. Seeing the places where they had walked together as children only reminded her of how wrong she had been. It brought back the feeling of foolishness she'd tried so hard to move past. She had been surethey had something; that he had cared. Turned out he cared less than she thought, and she couldn't blame him for that.

He was a good person. Too good. He was all about justice and fairness and responsibility. But he didn't love her. She couldn't have stayed to endure the half -love of friendship. She wouldn't accept that from him. If she couldn't have everything she would take nothing. _Well,_ she smiled to herself, _not exactly nothing._

She turned a corner, surprised at the speed of her journey. It was as if no time had passed since she pulled away from the curb, but she was already approaching her destination. There he was, sitting on a park bench next to a mister-tall-dark-and-handsome. Wait what? Was that the guy he had been chatting with over an hour ago? And they were still talking? Her Mother instincts kicked in. If this guy had some kind of…interest in her son he would find himself on the painful side of her foot. She hadn't let herself get sloppy over the years.

She pulled up to the curb not far from the bench and just barely kept herself from slamming the door shut. She put her most intimidating face on and looked up to glare this stranger into submission. Her heart stopped but her steely gaze stayed in place. _It can't be. _ He looked as shocked as she felt, at least for a second, before neutrality slammed down over his features.

He spoke and there was no mistake. She would recognize his voice anywhere. "That's your mom, kid?" She wanted to throw something at him for speaking so casually to her son. Shino was _hers_. Shino nodded hesitantly and glanced expectantly between them. _He knows_, she thought.

"Shino, get in the car." The cold of enforced indifference permeated her voice. This was exactly the worst possible scenario she had imagined when she thought of coming home. Running into him…

"But - ".

"Now. Shino." Her son glared at her and complied. Smart boy. She heard the door slam shut behind her, not daring to look away from the man in front of her. She waited expectantly.

The cold silence got to him. He had to say something. "Hey, Ran. Long time, huh?"

Her eyes flashed, and then went dull. "Thank you for looking after my son." She turned her back and walked to the car. She paused and said almost as an afterthought, "Goodbye, Shinichi." This time she didn't stop herself from slamming the door.

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><p>Shino crossed his arms and pouted. He couldn't hear what they were saying. How was he supposed to get them back together if he couldn't her what they were saying? It wasn't long before his mom stepped into the drivers seat and slammed the door. Shino flinched internally. Things hadn't gone well. She never slammed doors.<p>

The car pulled away and into traffic without hurrying, leaving the man behind on the curb. Ran didn't look back. She didn't sigh mournfully or stare into the rearview mirror, or do anything people were supposed to do when they were in love. Shino was willing to admit that real life might be different from the books. Maybe true love didn't triumph over all obstacles. Perhaps time could separate people. Shino glared out the window. He wasn't one to give up easily. The resistance just meant he had to work harder.

He felt his mother glance at him, but he refused to look at her. She hadn't even tried to talk to him. She hadn't given him a chance. She hadn't seen the love and hurt he had kept hidden because she hadn't watched him as she drove away. Shino liked the man. He didn't like driving away. Things needed to be said.

"How did you find out?" Ran wasn't accusing him. She sounded resigned; she just wanted to know.

Shino still didn't look at her. "I found the box."

Seconds ticked by before she responded. "Oh, that."

That. Yes that. The secret box she kept in the closet; the one where she hid away all of her secret feelings. He stumbled on it one day by accident. He wasn't snooping or anything, he was just… curious. It was full of photos, some old and others new. Some clearly cut from newspapers and magazines and others were personal snapshots. There was one he found of his mother when she was younger. She was at an amusement park, standing next to the great Kudou Shinichi. Shino had recognized him because his mom always talked about him. She said that they had been friends once, and she was proud of him.

Shino was young, but he wasn't stupid. Keeping the journal articles could have been pride. Keeping the photos could have been nostalgia. Keeping these things in a plain shoebox in the back of her closet meant she was in love. His mother had only ever loved one person, Shino was sure of that. The man in the box was his father.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He looked at her now, so he saw her flinch away from the question.

"Because I knew you'd want to meet him. I knew you would do exactly what you just did. This is why you wanted to visit Japan, isn't it?" She sounded mad. Shino felt his blood rise. No way was she turning this on him.

"I wasn't looking for him, you know. He just happened to be there. What was I supposed to do, ignore him? Like you have?"

"I didn't ignore him!" she spat defensively. "I…" She caught herself and took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not ignoring him. He ignored me."

"Oh yeah? Then how come he didn't know who I was?"

Her eyes flashed with unknowable emotion. "Did you tell him?"

"No. I just wanted to meet him. Why didn't _you_ tell him? All this time, I could have had a dad." Shino tried not to be bitter, but years of imagining what his father was like had steeped him in the stuff.

"He didn't want me. He didn't love me the way I loved him. I couldn't tell him. He would have insisted on marrying me, and being there for us. He would have forced himself to stay even when he wanted to leave. I loved him. I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't live with myself if I had." Her voice stayed strong, ignoring the tear that sneaked past her guard. "I did what I had to do and I left. But he left me first."

Shino was upset. How could he not be? His mom and dad were ridiculously in love with each other and neither of them would come out and admit it. They were both too afraid – too fragile – to take such a huge risk. So they both spent years of their lives completely miserable while he sat around making up stories about them. For as long as he could remember he had been creating his father, creating their lives together, making his mom happy. All of his scenarios and the most tragic story was the truth. He was not just going to accept that.

"Shino. I know this is hard for you." He snorted. "I'm serious. I know how you must feel. I've been lying to you your whole life. But please, please listen to me. Don't look for him again. Don't talk to him again. Stop thinking about him; he'll only disappoint you." It was her turn to taste the bitterness of her words.

Shino could not believe what she was asking him to do. Give up his father after he had just found him? Not a chance.

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><p>AN: YAY! don't know what else to say. I can't wait to see where this is going. I'm only slightly more knowledgeable than you about the plot at this point. I have Ideas... myes... But no solid plot. If you have an Idea and feel like piping up, please do!<p>

next up: a bit of backstory. Look forward to it.


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